If He Knew
by monkeygirl77
Summary: Jack hasn't even been in this world for an entire day yet, has already lost his mother, and doesn't have a father. He hasn't even been alive for longer then a day and he's already convinced that he's evil. If only Lucifer knew. Knew about Dean's threat, Jack's pain, and the knife. If only.
1. Chapter 1

**Poor Jack! His first day on earth and already he was convinced he needed to be out of it! Poor baby didn't deserve the pains that was brought on him! My heart broke for him when he tried to stab himself and Dean said he would be the one to kill him! I wanted to punch him in the face! He literally just told a baby he would kill him!**

 **Then it occurred to me, what if Lucifer knew, what if he knew what his boy was doing?**

 **And thus this was born!**

* * *

Jack finds almost immediately that he doesn't need to sleep much, the first night ever he only sleeps what he assumes is close to four hours before he's roaring and ready to go. His first time ever sleeping is not like it was before he was born, it was colder, louder, and he was a bit more restless. Tossing and turning fitfully, the ache of his chest still present even long after the stab wounds had faded away. He curled into himself, an unconscious way of trying to protect himself from a monster that wasn't really there.

His mind was allowed to wander, over the last day, and he dreamed. It was like a show, silent, a repeat of what had just happened, playing again before his very eyes.

He saw himself in the forest, after Dean had tried to shoot him, walking trying to find his father.

Clark showing him what candy was. He liked nougat.

The angels attacking them.

His new friend getting hurt because of him.

Being stabbed and not getting hurt.

Sam and Dean fighting about him.

His tries to hurt himself, and not succeeding, not understanding what he really is.

Dean promising that _when_ he turns bad he'll be there to kill him.

Jack sees it all over and over, but his focus is on the part before, him stabbing the knife repeatedly into his chest and nothing happening. He can almost feel the pain, he can feel the knife as it goes in, sharp and cold, his power may heal him soon after but it doesn't stop him from feeling the pain before it does.

He wants to be good. To do good. To make his father proud.

But the fear that he can't is a heavy one.

* * *

 _Lucifer watches Mary sleep, rolling his eyes at the mere humanness of it, after the day they had and her ever slowing down stride he'd finally given in and turned to find themselves a place to stay for at least the night. So she could rest her poor human eyes._

 _The cave he found was small, barely big enough to fit the both of them, and even smaller given the little campfire he'd made to keep the human warm._

 _He massaged his temple slightly, peering down into the orange flickering flames, fatherhood was making him soft._

 _The Archangel smiled to himself, his boy was there, waiting for him to come back. He was antsy, anxious to meet him, this little nephilim had been the center of his ever shrinking world since he'd first heard his little heartbeat. He needs to get to his boy before something happens to him, before he gets hurt or they try and take him away, before he gets turned against him._

 _He has no doubts that the Winchesters have his son, and seeing as history is painted by the victor, he had no doubts that they are filling his head with all sorts of nonsense about how evil his father is and what bad he could do._

 _His boy isn't bad._

 _The pain and hurt that has made him into the monster he is today, taken his shining heart and morphed it into a jaded shell, that isn't genetic. His son doesn't have to suffer the same pains he has. He won't let him._

 _Lucifer smiles to himself as he leans back against the cave wall, closing his eyes, and he reaches out slightly, tentatively with his grace. Searching for the bright spark that he'd created. He could see him before, feel him, he was strong, and with practice and training he could do the impossible._

 _He'd reached for it many times since his creation, and possibly not knowing any better, when he'd been in the woman he'd reached back. Lucifer remembers sitting in that chair, Crowley's virtual lapdog, caressing the small little grace with his own. Cradling it close and trying to be something warm for it. Humming softly when its nerves got the best of it. Humming old enochian lullabies that had once only been reserved for a certain golden winged menace._

 _They had twined themselves together more then once, and then it stopped, and he was left alone as he searched for his boy._

 _But now the archangel reached, his grace colder without the warmth of his fledgling within, hoping that he'd perhaps reach back again._

 _Lucifer sucked in a breath._

* * *

 **"What are you doing?"**

 **Jack spins at the voice, fingers curled around the handle of the knife, moments away from jamming it back into his chest. His eyes travel up the person behind him, unfamiliar in a way, but familiar in another, he doesn't recognize the blonde haired man, pale skin and stubbly chin, but the pale blue eyes that peer into his he remembers.**

 **Briefly.**

 **From before he was born.**

 **The man looks between him and the knife and makes a sound that has a note of disapproval. Slowly he steps forward and Jack finds himself unable to match his stride with a step back, eyes locked on the others, as if his legs have decided that he can't leave this moment. Warm fingers close around his, tugging at the knife, and he pulls it from his grip. Jack looks down slightly, just in time to see the old holes close back up, and the man wraps his free hand around the back of his head.**

 **"My boy?", and that's when he looks back up, surprised and just a little bit unsure, "Why are you doing this?"**

 **"Father?"**

 **Jack wants to back away, he knows who this is now, and his insides twist in fear and anticipation, but he can't move. The fingers are scratching the back of his head and it feels nice, and if he leans into the touch slightly neither of them make any mention of it. This is his father, that's why he recognizes him, "What are you doing here?"**

 **"You reached out. I'm not really here. But I'm here enough."**

 **He looks up into his blue eyes, not able to break the connection now that it was made, and suddenly he feel's so small. Lucifer smiles down at him softly, never thinking he'd ever actually get to see his boy. Jack tilts his head slightly, ignoring the slight tinge of pain, and frowns slightly. He doesn't understand, from what he's read and been told, Lucifer is supposed to be evil.**

 **Darkness incarnate.**

 **"That would be your great aunt actually, little one."**

 **Jack blinks in surprise, Lucifer smiles at him sadly, "What is your name?"**

 **The nephilim looks up at him, his mind whirling, "I'm Jack."**

 **A rough warm thumb brushes over his cheek softly, "Jack?", not the name he would have picked but he likes it. It fits the boy. His boy. Lucifer's eyes flit down to the bloody marks on his white shirt.**

 **"Why are you doing this?", he brushes soft fingers over his young chest and lets his grace wash over the wounds.**

 **Jack looks down, sniffling, Lucifer hums curling his fingers around the back of his neck, and tugs him closer. Jack sniffles and folds into the older man, momentarily letting go of the fears that had been instilled in him. Lucifer falls momentarily stunned when his arms are suddenly full of young nephilim, and he freezes for a breath of a second, but it falls in place naturally and soon he wraps his arms around the small shivering form.**

 **"Father...What am I?"**

 **He looks down at the boy, to his soft hair, he's curled into his shoulder, "You are who ever you want to be."**

 **"And...If I don't want to be evil?"**

 **"Then you won't be. Is that what you think? What they have filled your head with?"**

 **Lucifer shakes his head, tightening his hold on what might be the most purest thing in this universe and the next, well, definitely in the universe he's currently in. His boy wasn't even a week old yet, just born into this world, and this is what they've filled his head with.**

 **"Dean says that Sam believes I can be good but he says that I'm going to be bad and he's going to kill me when I hurt people."**

 **He hasn't hated that Winchester more in his long eternal life then he does now, filling his young head with that nonsense, no wonder this was what he was doing. He's only been in the world for a little over a day and already they've convinced him that he's full of evil.**

 **"Jack, you are not evil, you are not bad, if you don't want to be. You can be anything you want."**

 **"Really?"**

 **The archangel pulls him back slightly, cradling his cheek, and smiling this gentle smile he is not well known for, "Really."**

 **"What if I want to pretend I'm a normal human? Like my mother was?"**

 **Well he certainly hopes he doesn't chose that, seeing as the power he welds at his fingertips, "Then you will live as a human. Though it might be a bit of a difficult spot I think we could manage it."**

 **"Really?", from what he's heard Lucifer hates humans. Wouldn't it be something of an insult for his own son to want to be one. Jack looked up at him with wet eyes.**

 **"Of course."**

 **Lucifer smiles down at him, brushing his cheek again with his thumb, "If that would be what makes you happy. Then we would make it so."**

 **Jack sniffled again and rushed forward, burrowing back into his chest, tears spilling over. This had been his first day ever and it had been the absolute worst. He wanted to stay here forever. In this safety and feeling of protection that he hadn't been offered all day.**

 **"Jack, I'm not going to try and tell you that most of the stories you've heard about me aren't true, but you needn't fear who you are, what you are, the pain and the taint that has made me into the monster I am isn't hereditary, but what you do have is the light and beauty, bright enough to herald in the dawn, so make the most of your gifts little light bringer."**

 **Lucifer rested his chin a top the boys soft hair, "And no more of this okay. No more.", he gestured to the knife on the table. Jack nodded into his chest, breathing in his scent, "Father how are you here?"**

 **"You're dreaming kiddo. Any angel can dream hop. You can too."**

 **He tugged him across the way, "Come on.", They slowly made their way closer to the bed and Lucifer tugged him down with him, curling him into his shoulder, "Close your eyes little one."**

 **"But...but what if I do and you leave. I don't want to be alone again father!"**

 **Jack startled as he was suddenly surrounded by a wall of feathers, "I'm always here for you kiddo. Always. And we will be together again. I promise you."**

 **"Okay father."**

 **"Now go back to sleep."**

 **Jack nodded, turning into the arm under his head, gripping at his shirt as he closed his eyes softly. He felt warm lips press to his forehead but he didn't dare open his eyes.**

 **And sleep overcame him.**

* * *

Jack woke the following morning, blinking his eyes open slowly, and felt his heart drop when he wasn't greeted with the wall of rose gold plumage. He sat up and rubbed a fist over his eyes, rubbing the sleep away, he startled when something soft rubbed against his cheek and he looked down quickly.

"Wha-?"

His left hand was curled around a large rose gold feather, clutched tightly, and he unfurled his fingers, brushing a fingertip down the soft bristles, and smiled.

Maybe it wasn't just a dream.

* * *

 _"Why are you smiling like that?"_

 _He turned to regard the hunter and waved her question off. It was none of her business anyway._

 _"Just had a nice dream."_

 _Mary looked at him odd, last she had heard angels didn't dream, but Lucifer wasn't the sharing type and she wasn't going to push it._

 _He watched her silently as she wandered to the mouth of the cave, before unfurling a single wing, running his fingers over the flight feathers. His fingers lingered on a single bald spot._

 _A feather was missing._

* * *

 ** _There is nothing you can do to convince me that Lucifer doesn't care deeply for his son. Poor baby. Just let him have his kiddo guys! I really want Jack and him to meet and Luci be all proud and not sure what to say and GAAAH!_**


	2. Chapter 2

It became something of a nightly routine, and if the nephil knew he was doing then that was just as well, but he supposed it was all involuntary. The little thing had found something, someone, who didn't want something in return for his presence.

And it was a nice reprieve from whatever it was Lucifer was dealing with in the other world, Jack was sure of it, though the archangel refused to tell him what it was.

In their dreams they could meet anywhere, doing anything, and that was fine for now. It have him time to get to know his father without having to worry of hurting someone elses feelings. Like Sam, he liked Sam, he was nice to him. He didn't so much as mind how Dean would feel about it, he didn't like him very much, he was pretty mean. Even after getting him Castiel back, he still was so angry at him, and he didn't even know what he had done.

Jack was happy that Castiel was back, finally there was someone there who was like him, sorta, and the angel was nice. Nicer then some of the other angels he's met.

They had yet to find the long rose gold feather that he kept under his pillow, he like to lay in bed at night, before he fell asleep, running his finger over the ridge of the fluff.

* * *

 **"There is something on your mind."**

 **Lucifer huffs a breath at the usual greeting of the nephilim ramming into his stomach, and he curls his arms and wings around the small angel-child, as they stand there. Jack takes a deep breath, burrowing into his chest, and he sighs. Something is bothering his child and he will do anything and all he has to to find out what it could be that is bothering his boy.**

 **But for the moment he settles with him in his arms, rubbing a hand through his hair, and holding him as close as he can to calm his nerves.**

 **"Did something happen?"**

 **"No father,", the nephilim absentmindedly reaches over his shoulder, fingers twining between the feathers on the nearest wing, "Nothing happened."**

 **Well now, they don't call him the king of lies for nothing, most believe it is because he himself has to lie, which would be false. Lucifer, in all his long life, can honestly say he has never told a lie. In quite the contrary, he is actually a horrid liar, since the day he was created. No, he is called the father of lies because he can see one from a mile away, and to have his own child think that he can get away with it is actually somewhat of a slap to the face, but he lets it go.**

 **Something is clearly bothering him and the last thing he needs is to be scolded for lying.**

 **So he lets it go.**

 **His wing shivers under his touch and the boy smiles slightly, he chuckles, rubbing a few fingers over the back of his neck, "Something funny?"**

 **"No father. I'm just happy so see you!"**

 **Lucifer smiles down at him, "But you saw me last night too."**

 **"I know! But it was a long day!"**

 **"That it was. That is was."**

* * *

Castiel had noticed something was up with the nephilim almost immediately, of course he would, and not wanting to alarm the Winchesters to the possibility of the boys father trying to reach out to him through his dreams, in what little amount of times he slept, he decided to take it upon himself to watch the boy when he fell asleep.

He waited until he felt Jack drift off and then he entered.

* * *

 **"And you ate how much nougat?"**

 _ **He knew that voice. It had no business being in the boys dreams. Jack was good.**_

 **There was an unmistakeable giggle, "I ate four bars!"**

 **A chuckle, "Next time why don't you start out with one and a half."**

 _ **He stepped forward, further into the dream scape, his widening in mild surprise at the rolling waves. Golden sands. Warm sun. The archangel has been manipulating the surroundings. He had no place being here. Jack was better without his interference. He was doing just fine under the tutelage of the Winchesters.**_

 _ **Around a set of palm trees, and there they were, Lucifer was laying completely flat, wings spread out in the open, vulnerable. Jack was next to him, propped up on his elbows, a rose gold wing wrapped loosely over his shoulders.**_

 _ **To the average eye it would be a fledgling and their caretaker.**_

 _ **But this was no usual fledgling and that was no caretaker.**_

 **Lucifer's eyes were closed, resting lightly in the warm afternoon sun of the beach background they had made in this particular dream, he flinched when a finger poked at his side and cracked open a single eye in warning, "Watch it buster, one of us is supposed to be sleeping right now, and it sure isn't me."**

 **Jack giggled softly at the warning, curling in closer when the wing pulled in, settling against the archangels side, Lucifer curled an arm around his shoulders and scratched lightly at his head.**

* * *

 _ **"You think you will lecture me on whats best for my son?"**_

 _ **Jack looked between the two angels, one his father, the other his father figure, Castiel didn't so much as bat an eye to the rage from the archangel in front of him. Poised, hands behind his back comfortably, completely at ease.**_

 _ **"You are Lucifer. I will not allow you to taint him into your image."**_

 _ **"You have no idea what I want for him."**_

 _ **Castiel looked to the side, ignoring the angered elder, "Jack you have to push him out. Tell him to leave your dreams. He is not good for you."**_

 _ **Lucifer didn't utter anything in response to that, not even looking up to meet the nephilims gaze, despite the younger's attempts. Castiel kept beckoning him on, not caring to ask the boy what he wanted, simply telling him what was best.**_

 _ **But Jack didn't want to tell Lucifer to leave.**_

 _ **He had been nice to him.**_

 _ **Letting him regale all his life stories and adventures, wrapping him in his soft warm wings, Lucifer had been nice to him. Nicer then Dean had been. And he was supposed to be the good guy.**_

 _ **"No."**_

 _ **"What?", Castiel sounded surprised.**_

 _ **"No.", Jack shook his head, stepping forward quickly and latching onto one of the archangels arms, Lucifer looked down in his own surprise, wings flaring in shock, he had been sure the boy would choose the other seeing as they could only be together in his dreams and Castiel was able to be with him when he was awake, "No. I want him to stay. I like him."**_

 _ **Lucifer felt distinctly like, well, like a pet of some sorts.**_

 _ **"I. Want. Him. To. Stay."**_

 _ **Blue eyes narrowed at the boys words, his choice, and Castiel shook his head.**_

 _ **"Absolutely not."**_

 _ **Jack's eyes narrowed, blue turning into threatening gold, Castiel felt his breath hitch in fear. Jack was exponentially more powerful then his father was, and Lucifer was the second created Archangel.**_

 _ **"Get. Out."**_

 _ **A hand curled around his temple, pulling his head back softly petting his bangs back, and golden eyes met red.**_

 _ **"Calm that temper down little one."**_

 _ **Castiel made one last attempt, a more physical one this time, and Jack threw a hand up, startled, when he grabbed him by the arm. Eyes blazing gold once more, despite Lucifer's hand still holding his forehead, Castiel gasped as he was forcibly thrown from the dream.**_

 _ **From the room.**_

 _ **And from the bunker.**_

* * *

Castiel had made it back to the bunker rather easily, knowing the location made anything possible, and shared his findings almost immediately upon arrival. Dean had been furious, yelling and carrying on to Sam that 'he had told him so' and saying that they should just be rid of the kid once and for all.

Sam was a bit on the other hand, thinking that if perhaps they told Jack who Lucifer really was it would deter him from wanting to continue having contact with him, something that was obviously for the best.

So they all headed to the boys room waiting for him to wake up.

Jack opened his eyes slowly, hand under his pillow still curled around the feather he had been given on his very first visit, a present like no other.

He had been surprised at the sight of Sam sitting at his bedside, Dean in the door way, and his eyes narrowed when he spotted Castiel behind the older hunter.

"Jack", Sam began, looking over his shoulder for support, "He's lying to you. Lucifer...Lucifer doesn't care about any one but himself. He hurts people. He's killed a lot of people. He's not a good guy."

"I know."

"You...know?", the hunters full attention was on him, Jack nodded, looking down for a minute as he fiddled with his hands.

"I know. He told me. He promised never to lie and let me ask him about...him."

"Then you know you shouldn't see him. It's not good."

He looked back up, "But he's nice to me."

"He's deceiving you, kid.", Dean's gruff voice broke through the brief silence, "He's manipulating you. It's what Satan does."

Jack shook his head again, "No. He's nice to me. He doesn't treat me like I'm...I'm a can-opener!". Sam and Dean exchanged looks. He had heard that? What else had he heard?

"He hasn't asked me to get him out or try to open a rift or anything! And that's more then you can say! You're only nice to me because you think I know how to get your mom back! Because I'm the only one who can open that dumb rift between the worlds! He's nice to me because he likes me!"

Least to say it didn't go over well, but Sam and Dean had stood their ground, and now Castiel had to stand guard while he slept, keeping him from visiting with Lucifer when he was dreaming. Putting a block in his mind, blocking the connection they had, and for the first time since his first night, Jack slept the entire time all on his own.

* * *

 _It had been close to a week since Lucifer had last seen the boy, not for lack of trying, and he figured that Castiel must have had something to do with it. That uppity seraph was not used to being told no and that being the end of the story._

 _He was utterly alone now._

 _Hanging in this cage._

 _How his grace longed to reach out to the little fledglings, to feel it and cradle it, to hold it close and hum soft nothings to it. He missed the feel of wrapping the warm weight of his boy in his wings. The way the little one would clutch at his feathers as he drifted off to sleep._

 _He missed his boy._

 _Determination kicked in and set everything into overdrive._

 _Michael was taking a break today, so it seemed, and it left him to his own thoughts. To himself, and when Lucifer is left to himself things tend to happen, he closed his eyes and reached out. Reaching for that sire connection. That sire/fledgling connection he had felt when he'd first sparked the life of his son._

 _Castiel could block a lot of things but the sire bond was something only Father Himself could dampen._

 _ **"Jack..."**_

* * *

Without having the protection from his father, the wings that served as a shield from the bad dreams, the feeling of the warm fingers scratching softly at the back of his head, the bad dreams came back.

Jack's mind drifted to the places that it hadn't been able to for the longest time until the Winchesters and Castiel got involved.

And he missed seeing his father. He missed the warm soft wings that would curl around him, missed the soft deep humming, missed the feeling of the fingers threading through his hair and scratching lightly at the back of his scalp.

Without that, and the dreams that haunted him once again, he tried to avoid sleeping. The boy stayed up late into the night reading or watching from Sam's laptop. Without the sleep he needed, the sleep he was getting, he got more volatile.

Someone had made it so he couldn't call out to him in his dreams and by the end of the week he was done playing by their rules. They couldn't tell him what to do. And they were his dreams!

There had to be some way for him to get Lucifer back and so he went in search for it.

He left the bunker after it.

Castiel found his room empty the next morning and immediately went to alert the Winchesters. When there had been no sign of him in the following month, and they were starting to run out of ideas as to where he may be and how they could find him.

It was at that point that Castiel made a suggestion.

* * *

 _"You have some nerve coming here after what you did."_

 _"I would not have come at all if I did not have to. Jack is missing and we cannot find him."_

 _"What do you mean my son is missing?"_

 _"He...Ran away."_

* * *

To any pedestrian passing by, he appeared to be just another homeless kid taking a nap in the park, under the shade of a tree, huddled down in a too big hoodie trying to protect himself from the slight breeze that blew through the leaves.

He looked like an ordinary boy.

But if one were to look closer, to peer under the arms and hood hiding his face from view, they would see the glow of golden irises. Exhaustion was eating away at him, he hasn't slept since Castiel had taken his visits with father away, the bad dreams keeping him from wanting to.

He was only half angel though, and the human half of him was running out of steam to keep going, he needed sleep. His body was going to force him to sleep whether he liked it or not.

* * *

 _ **"So all you have to do is wait until he falls asleep?"**_

 _ **"Yes. Now be quiet."**_

 _ **Lucifer closed his eyes, concentrating on the feeling of the young ones grace, it had been sometime since Jack had last slept and he quirked an eyebrow. He was almost out, and once he was, oh they were going to have words. He wasn't the Winchesters biggest fan but leaving the protection they could offer, at this age, this new to the world, was a dangerous thing.**_

 _ **'Jack...Jackie boy...Jack...'**_

 _ **Castiel was silent behind him, and for that he sent a quick prayer of thanks to Father, the seraph didn't like this as much as the next person, but they could only track Jack so far. Lucifer, for all intents and purposes, was the boys father. Their connection was much stronger then any others. In all essence, Jack was a living breathing piece of Lucifer.**_

 _ **"Father?"**_

 _ **"Jack!"**_

 _ **The nephilim yelped as he was tugged into an embrace, strong arms encircling him, a large hand pressing his head closer to a muscular shoulder. He sighed happily, leaning into the archangels chest, he'd missed this.**_

 _ **"Jack where are you?"**_

 _ **He pulled away to look up at his father and shrunk back under the intensity of his gaze.**_

 _ **"I don't know father. They wouldn't let me see you and I couldn't sleep. So I went to find someone who could help me."**_

 _ **"Jack you don't just run away like that. Do you have any idea how worried we've all been trying to find you?"**_

 _ **"But-"**_

 _ **"No 'buts'. You're going to tell Castiel where you are and he is going to take you back to the safety of the bunker where you will get some sleep."**_

 _ **Jack nodded, leaning back into his fathers shoulder, sighing contentedly. Lucifer pet the back of his head softly.**_

 _ **"Do as you're told and we will see each other again soon."**_

 _ **The nephilim nodded.**_

 _ **Lucifer turned to look over his head, eyes zeroing in on the seraph in the corner, "Never, and I mean never, come between me and my son again Castiel."**_

* * *

Castiel was not sure what to say when Lucifer had told his son to go back to the bunker with him. It was not something he thought the archangel would ever do, ever say, as they weren't exactly on the best of terms.

But low and behold, as soon as Jack was able to wake himself up enough, Castiel was there to return him to the bunker where he belonged.

And then it was straight to bed.

* * *

 **"I'm sorry I worried you father."**

 **Lucifer hummed, deep in his chest, running his fingers through the nephilims soft hair. Jack nudged closer, fingers softly sifting through the smooth feathers that had curled around him. With everything he was dealing without out side of these peaceful retreats into the realm of dreams, having to worry about the safety and well being of his son was not something he could afford to have on his plate right now.**

 **"You should be. Running off like that. Going to give me grays."**

 **Jack looked down, clutching at the feathers suddenly, Lucifer hummed again, "But I'd be lying if I said that everybody hasn't done something dangerous before.", he smiled up at the archangel and yawned, "Thank you father."**

 **"Don't mention it kiddo, it's what I'm here for, now go to sleep."**

* * *

 **AAAAANNNNNDDDDD FIN!**

 **WHO DOESNT LIKE lUCI AND JACK BONDING AND FLUFF AND WINGS AND AAAHHHHH! LOL!**


End file.
